What's on my mind...

I hope you have been reading the home page every day.  Since late May the page has changed daily with overarching topics based on a member survey I did in January as to what was on everyone's mind and what would they like to read more about.  Sometimes this daily task has seemed overwhelming, but with the changes in the site innards it has become much more manageable.  As I sat down a week ago Saturday night late (because I had forgotten to do it), words came out that were unexpected and changed what I thought about.

The topic was relating and the result is Keep a Silver Vixen Warm Week.  I care passionately about Silver Vixens and I want to do something to make sure all is right for all of us. This is my start.  Here is the short version:

During the week of October 4, invite a group of girlfriends to get together for 2-3 hours and each knit a washable scarf for a Silver Vixen who needs help keeping warm.  The event page has the details.  Please join in and let's make a difference to those who need a helping hand...and it's a marvelous excuse to get together with your pals!  How cool is that?

There.  I've said it.  I LIKE diamonds.  I like how they sparkle.  I like how they glitter.  I like how sexy I feel wearing diamond jewelry -- some of which I have bought myself.  In these times of economic uncertainty, it may not be politically correct to admit for loving luxury, but I do.

I haven't always, and still don't always, stayed at fancy hotels, but when I do I feel different.  I feel good! I like a room with a view, a luscious bed, yummy smelling toiletries and this, delightful towels. Part of what I like is that this isn't my normal way of life -- okay, what IS normal anymore? -- and when it appears I give myself permission to totally enjoy them.

Life has not always been easy, and that is an understatement, but that doesn't mean that when it is I should be looking back over my shoulder or ahead with trepidation.  We never know what the next minutes will bring, but don't let that stop you from enjoying every delightful morsel of the present.

I think today I became an activist.  I have written about social issues and a couple of days ago, touched on healthcare reform, but today it feels different.

SJ and I explored the Museum of Contemporary Art Denver this morning.  We were blown away even before we entered the building, and then by the staff -- outgoing, helpful, knowledgeable and besotted with where they worked and volunteered -- and the exhibits.  The first one we saw was Kevin O'Connell's "Everything Comes Broken" about wind energy. I didn't expect to be much engaged by the huge photos.  Here is what O'Connell has to say, "These photographs are not intended to make a definitive statement abou the economic value, efficiencyor public policy of wind energy." The photographs were enhanced by poetry by Jules Gibbs.  All of a sudden, I knew there is more to the topic than the seemingly clear case that has been made for wind energy -- and I want to know more!

I closed my newsletter this week with the Gloria Steinem quote, "Women may be the one group that becomes more radical with age."  Who knew?  I may be becoming a radical!

Like many of you, I am astonished by the tenor of the conversation surrounding the healthcare reform.  I inadvertently deleted a post I wrote last week I was so distressed!  This legislation is vitally important to Silver Vixens in so many ways -- for ourselves, our children, our parents if they are still with us and all of those we know and love.  Everyone agrees that the healthcare delivery system in the U.S. is not commensurate with our ability and wealth and we can and must do better.

What blows me away is the climate of these conversations -- to see our Senators and Representatives being the recipients of death threats, a gun being carried to town hall meeting (even if it is legal, what place does a hand gun have in a town hall meeting!!!), hour upon hour of media coverage of protesters who, when questioned, admit they have little knowledge of the bills themselves, have never read the laws as they are currently put forth, and have no knowledge of the consitution, and misinformation put forth as fact.

I want to believe that Silver Vixens, being Women of a Certain Age, will take the time to find out the FACTS!!!

The government website is www.healthreform.gov.  If nothing else, click on your state on the interactive map to learn what difference will be made for your state.  Start somewhere, don't trust the emails proported to "know" by sent by people who say they don't have time to read the bill.  Bushwa!  If you hear something that doesn't sound right or makes you mad...take a few minutes and find the answer yourself!  You will get the information from someone you know took the time to learn.

By the way, there is NO place in either the House or Senate bill that is going to "pull the plug on Granny" or anyone else!

It just turned summery here in Chicago for the first time -- sunshine, warm temperatures, humidity -- which they can keep as far as I'm concerned. These are days that cry out for a glass of iced tea, playing with my plants, and sitting and reading in the shade. If I did that, I may as well close up shop. This morning that dreaded word RETIREMENT has a certain lure to it.

I have always vigorously said I won't ever retire and it's probably true. I love building a business, the creativity, the networking, meeting new people. it really is who I am at a fundamental level and have always been. Silver Vixens is growing and expanding in just the ways I have planned and hoped for and... hmmm, iced tea and a good book, you say.

Is this a case of "The lady doth protest too much"? Is this a case of a leading edge (of course!!) boomer fighting against words that hearken to the slippery slope of old age? I think I have accepted that we all age, but what I desperately fear is boredom and uselessness. So where are the meeting places between working at least 40 hours a week and boredom? These are really interesting questions. I think I'll go get a glass of iced tea. The book will have to wait.

What a fun week this has been!  The vast majority of unpacking of the daughter and son-in-law (and in-heart)'s new home was completed in the first 27 hours after I arrived.  I really cracked the whip, but they were grateful afterward. Two other families moved into the building the day after they did and were overwhelmed by Stuff -- each had a 40' container of household possessions...their lifetimes in a container.As their friends stopped by to see the new place, to say hello or to
drop off a housewarming meal I knew I was watching something special.

I was fascinated by the number of phone calls and visits.  Congratulations flew between all the new neighbors, introductions, bringing coffee to new downstairs neighbors who hadn't found their coffee pot yet and who and the "deer in the headlights/what have we done" look of those who have picked up and moved their entire lives 8,000 miles to live a dream.  Since virtually everyone in the neighborhood has been in this position within the last few years, there is tremendous empathy and support.  But it seemed there was something more...

Every one of the nearly 30 neighbors I have seen in the past week is not living by accident, they are living by intention. There is an underlying joy and feeling of worth in their lives.  They have taken enormous risks, most arrive without jobs, to live where they feel at home and among people who share their basic values and outlook.  This is so powerful that it is nearly palpable. 

This has given me so much to think about:  What risks would I take to live in community with people who share my visions, goals and ideals?  Do I know what those visions, goals, and ideals really are?  How would my life be different if I knew the answers to the first two questions?  I have no desire to live here, but the is much I wish I could bring home with me. I wonder how much would/could translate into my life?

Unexpected joy and aches and pains.  A weird combination?  Nope.  I am helping my daughter and her family settle into their new home!  They took possession of their long awaited new home last week and waited until I could get here (okay, it was also when the mover was available) to move.  I arrived about two hours after the movers left and full of excitement said, "Where's the scissors?  Let's open some boxes!"  Within 26 hours after I arrived, the kitchen was totally unpacked and my son-in-law and I unpacked 100 boxes of books!  Their main living rooms are all set up other than pictures on the walls.  What a joy to unpack their kitchen together.  I feel like I know their home and we are again linked in their new surroundings.

Aches and pains? I awoke at 1 a.m. and realized I could hardly move I was so sore!!  Now I work out twice a week and ride my bike whenever weather permits, BUT I don't lift boxes and move furniture much anymore! Thank goodness for ibuprofen!

It's the Buff Babe, Silver Vixen signing off...a little slow, but smiling from ear to ear!

Before we came back North in May, I had decided we would do a little getaway each month really so I would feel like we had been somewhere together. Whoa! What a summer this is turning out to be -- and now I am longing for some quiet time at home!  Will this woman ever be happy?

As I have been wishing for some quiet time, I finally came to the realization that quiet time does not mean "life as usual" and the travel and having Tristan stay for a few days isn't "unusual life".  This is simply life.  Once again IT'S REINVENTION is appearing in my life -- life has change, (for the better!) and it's time to rearrange what I think is normal and how I plan my days.

When I stop and think about it, I am delighted that life keeps sending me new things to learn and grow into.  This time I am learning to be busier than I have been in years and growing into a new and larger family AND finding my own place within all this that brings me special joy -- Silver Vixens.  I really think life doesn't get much better.

I had the very best time last week.  In April, my older daughter called and invited me to go with her and my oldest grandchild to Washington DC for a few days.  He just turned 13 and is heading into 8th grade.  I took both of my daughters on the same trip when they were about the same age.  Would history repeat itself?

The short answer is "No".  This time was even better!  My daughter and I have not traveled together for many, many years and I think we were both just a tad concerned about how it would be -- all three of us sharing a room for four nights.  It was just fine.  How delightful to travel with a woman I enjoy and am no longer "responsible" for...and, of course, the grand!

We saw everything on our list, each learned a lot, had much to laugh over and learned a lot about each other.  Washington DC is a marvelous place to connect and reconnect.  May I suggest it to you and yours?

Father's Day has become a commercial holiday where stores can sell more shirts, shorts, golf clubs and colognes and many families can't figure out something Dad would really enjoy. I think maybe the father's place in the family is  finally changing.  As I watch my sons-in-laws I see young men who have been actively involved in their children's care since birth.  More than just going to watch their kids in sports, they seem to hang out with the sons and daughters in ways I don't remember in my youth.  Now THAT is something to honor!  Since my dad has been gone so many years, I use Father's Day as an excuse to let each of my son-in-law know what a great job I think they are doing.  If I can't look back, there is great pleasure in looking forward.



So Mordechai, Bryan, Jeff, Jamie and Josh I am proud of you and the
wonderful relationship you have with your kids.  It isn't always easy,
but you are there with a full measure of love and support! Happy Father's Day! Love, M:)m/Bonnie