Help For Mainstream Mamas

Are you trying so hard to be mainstream that you are overlooking your unique deliciousness? Wanting to be mainstream means you care more about acceptance from others than from yourself. It means that you are secretly afraid of what others are thinking of you. Maybe you pass up that sassy, sexy, oh so adorable dress for the safe, don’t notice me, standard black one. Or secretly yearn to put that crazy blue polish on your nails instead of the regular weekly French manicure? Is your self-talk, “What would people think?” If so, I’m sorry to say you may have “Mainstream Mama Syndrome.” Ancient, embedded thought patterns from childhood usually formed when someone said, “No, that’s not nice, good girls don’t do that, what would others say, you’ll attract the wrong kind of attention to yourself.” Somehow, these meta messages may have been interpreted by your unconscious as thoughts like, “I’m not good enough just the way I am, I’ve got to be more like everyone else.” You remember the unconscious, it’s that place where every message that you got as a child gets stored and later as an adult comes out to haunt you.

Mainstream Mama Syndrome can creep into every area of your life, and greatly affect the amount of satisfaction that you are experiencing. It may have affected who you married, as well as who you didn’t marry, what kind of profession you chose and how you have spent the first half of your life. In fact, it may have affected every area of your life including the underwear you’re wearing right now. ☺

Let’s invite those negative messages in for a cup of tea and get to know them a little. Grab a piece of paper and a pen, sit in a quiet spot and let’s take inventory together by answering the questions listed below. The answers will help you to see if there are any messages from yesterday that hold you back from living a passionate life today?

1. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living right now? If the answer is yes, you can skip over questions 2-6. If your answer is no, then continue to question 2.
2. Can you name one specific thing you are unhappy with? Be honest with yourself.
3. Can you trace back any messages you may have received that influenced your unhappy choice? For example, you dreamed of being a ballet dancer but heard messages such as: you can’t be a ballet dancer, you're not thin enough, tall enough, good enough, talented enough.
4. Can you remember what your passion felt like before you started to hear the negative messages? For example, maybe you daydreamed of seeing yourself on stage, or felt exhilarated while watching ballets.
5. What’s happening to your body as you see these images in your minds eye? Is that passion still there? Can you feel the excitement again? Good for you!

Now, here’s your challenge. As you see that little girl inside you with a big smile on her face because she’s doing what she loves, wrap a warm ray of sunshine around her to protect her from any negative thoughts from others. Tell her she has a right to make herself happy and to fulfill her destiny of sharing all her wonderful gifts with the world. Tell those negative voices that you appreciate their concern, but you are choosing to do what your heart desires right now and for always.

What you did in essence, was to not only give yourself permission to be the wonderful person that you are, but you made those unconscious negative messages conscious, thereby diminishing their power over you.

When you sit down for your Thanksgiving meal, may you secretly give thanks to yourselves for sending Mainstream Mama on her way and making room for whoever has been deeply hidden inside and yearning to finally emerge. Happy Thanksgiving to all the Silver Vixens!