Destination Inspiration

It’s the beginning of a fresh New Year and we have the opportunity to feel as if we have a clean slate to start over again. For many people the New Year is a time to tackle bad habits with a New Year’s resolution or two. But, for the mid-life population, the New Year can play a more meaningful role. The New Year can be a reminder to be awake and present for the remaining years of our life. It can also be a vital time to commit to actively participate in the destination of this year’s journey.

When I was a marriage and family therapist intern several years ago, I worked with a 40 year old woman who felt as if she had hit a wall in her life. She experienced herself as just trying to survive one disappointment after another. After working deeply to help her understand the origins of her wounds, she began to grieve the loss of what was missing from her childhood. As her wounds started to recede, she began to talk about her current aspirations and dreams. I could see that she was struggling with the idea of actually allowing herself to think about what would make her happy. The following week, I brought in some magazines, a small poster board, scissors and some glue. I told her to cut out everything and anything that she would like to have in her life. She thumbed through the magazine and started energetically cutting and pasting everything from a great hairdo to a husband. I took the collage and put it in her file.

We worked together for approximately five years. During one session, she informed me that she was getting married. I was overjoyed that she had been able to fulfill a dream of hers. During the next session, I took out her collage which I reduced and put in a white frame, and gave it to her as a wedding gift. We both wept as we looked back at the beginnings of her courageous journey and where she was today.
When I gave her the tools to do a collage, (which is now called a vision board, pre-Oprah and pre -The Secret), I just went with my gut as an inexperienced intern trying to help someone figure out which direction they wanted to go. Throughout the years, I have learned to understand that it is important to live with a sense of purpose and a vision of what you want rather than just letting life happen to you. A vision board can be like a bridge that takes you from where you are now to where you would like to be in the future.

In my Women’s Small Groups, most of the women are experiencing a transition out of the roles they have identified with for many years. They feel lost and empty and are struggling to bring a sense of purpose to their lives. Being able to tolerate the frustrations of the unknown is an important step in formulating the next step towards your goals. It’s alright to be in the middle of what seems mysterious and unfamiliar because it is the verve necessary to catapult you into a new direction. Below are just a few suggestions to help you get started on creating your own vision board for the New Year:

1. Gather some poster board, scissors, glue and a few of your favorite magazines. Find a quiet room where you can be undisturbed for forty-five minutes. Bring a journal and pen in the room with you. Sit in a comfortable position and bring your focus on the in -breath and the out -breath. Do this for 10 minutes or until you feel peaceful and calm.

2. As you are in this nice state of relaxation, ask yourself the following 3 questions. Remember, keep it simple, no judgment, no criticism, just observing your answers with an open heart. Also note any sensations in your body that might arise as you answer the questions.

1) What is most important to you?
2) What brings you most joy in your life?
3) What are your talents, strengths and gifts?

3. When you are finished answering the questions, allow yourself to gently open your eyes. Grab your journal and a pen as you write down your answers along with any other feelings that arise as you are writing.

4. When you’re finished, put your journal and pen down and open your magazine. Still holding on to the calm sensation and pondering your answers to the questions, allow yourself to start cutting out the images that you gravitate towards. Can you find images that encompass the answers to the three questions? For example, if you put singing as one of the things that brings you joy; you might feel compelled to cut out a performer on stage. Cut out images of the future that you would like to create for yourself.

5. When you are finished with your vision board, hang it in a prominent place where you can see it everyday, it will become a reminder of the direction, purpose and passion that you are choosing to have in your life on a daily basis.

You just took a positive step towards your destination. Start to notice how synchronicities begin to unfold. What destination did your inspiration lead you to?

If you live in the Los Angeles area, please check my website, bonniekatz.com for upcoming Vision Board Workshops. Good luck.