Common Threads of Motherhood

Those who serve in the role of a mother on any level know firsthand it can be more than a notion. That goes for those who have become mothers by way of giving birth or those who have stepped in where needed.

My daughter has a great fascination with animals and at this moment penguins are her favorite, in particular their birthing process. It appears that prior to the mother giving birth, the father must store enough food to sustain himself for at least two months. When the egg arrives the mother penguin carefully transfers the egg into the care of the father while she travels 70 miles or so to icy waters where she and the other female penguins search for food. In the meantime dad is left to protect and warm the egg. I am not so sure how human mothers would feel about leaving their newborn babies with dad while they went off in search of food, but okay this is what penguins do.   

When the mother returns she and the baby find each other through a unique pattern of calls and sounds. Now the father has an opportunity to go off and replenish his food supply. The innate ability of mother and father penguins to survive and produce a family through severe weather conditions, natural instincts and cooperation is fascinating.

Natural instincts and intuition are such wonderful gifts for female penguins and for us as women. We are guided and directed to know (in some instances) just what to do. My daughter has often asked how I seem to know what to do in different situations. Most of the time my answer to her is “You just seem to know”. What I probably should say is “I make it up as I go.” Truthfully, I believe the real answer is there has always been a steady transfer of motherly knowledge from every woman I’ve ever encountered.

Yes, there is an endless supply of books about being or becoming a mother but it is what you pick up through seeing someone else in action, and the conversations about how mothers have handled various issues presented to them that guide our way. Perhaps some of us may come across as all knowing and answer ready women, however I am waiting for the day when I can kick back and flash the “it’s been a piece of cake” smile that I’ve seen on other faces.

I often wonder if I’ve contributed the correct ratio of pancakes, homemade cookies, backyard birthdays, overlooked the scratch on the car that no one notices but me, avoided the obvious looks of nervousness while they learned to drive, helped them understand why this and not that, and carefully given out a “no” when a “no” was called for and a yes when it really mattered.

I admire the calm of women who have helped a child realize how special they are and, when the day arrived even helped them move out, move on, and when necessary invite them to move back home to regroup and refocus. Many women have openly shared their stories, challenges and successes of motherhood, and this has made a difference.

So whether the mother is 23 or 53 and beyond we come to realize everything is relative. It’s okay to doubt, second guess yourself, and make it up as we go. For at the end of the day creating special moments, nurturing and sharing a lot of love is what really matters. This I can handle…just please do not ask me to spend two months searching for food in icy waters.  Oh, but that wouldn’t happen…I’m not a penguin, just one among many mothers sharing a common thread.

Always…Expecting the Extraordinary!

Gillie Haynes